You’ve probably noticed people often don’t know the right things to say, or how to help, when you’re grieving. So often they’ll just stay away or say nothing. Sometimes, they say and do extremely insensitive things. And through it all, you’re just spinning in this dense fog of overwhelming grief, wondering if you’ll ever feel happy again. In fact, deep down, you might believe that you’ll never feel much better than this.

My husband, John, and I are well acquainted with these kinds of dark nights of the soul. Our first baby David passed in the womb halfway to term. And then our youngest son years later, Nathan, died when he was 16 years old after being hit by a car on the freeway. More recently, we walked the healing path again when both of our moms relocated to heaven. And after our daughter, Jessie, and her husband, Chris, lost their two babies, Chloe and Judah.

So I come to you as one who’s familiar with the path of recovery, and also as a grief specialist.

For the past three decades, I’ve had the privilege of serving as a professional counselor to moms, dads and families, and I’ve seen a consistent pattern for 30 years. Most of us don’t know what to do with grief, and we’re afraid of the all consuming intensity of our grief emotions. We fear they’re just going to strip us of our last little grip on normalcy and drown us in their fury.

In fact, the great majority of us did not learn how to deal with painful emotions of grief when we were growing up. I know I didn’t. We live in a culture that’s great about taking care of physical wounds, and absolutely lousy about taking care of emotional heart wounds.

There’s this subtle expectation that we’re supposed to just buck up, move on, feel better quickly, and get over it.

So what do we do? We withdraw in an effort to protect ourselves and we avoid people and situations that might spark those strong emotions. We stuff down our feelings, isolate, and stay real busy to keep the pain at bay. Now we may seem okay to others, but underneath, we’re exhausted or sad, irritable, and anxiously on guard against those worst case scenarios that overrun our imaginations.

See, we’re not designed or created to avoid, block, or bury our emotions.

What you resist, persists. And pain that isn’t transformed is transmitted.

Buried feelings have a very high rate of resurrection. When they resurface, they return with a vengeance, and at times with destructive power. And even worse, the damaging effects of our buried grief don’t stop with us. They get passed on to others, often hurting those we love the most. Buried grief becomes toxic. It harms our health and it destroys people and families.

I believe it’s time for us to start taking emotional pain as seriously as physical pain.

Taking care of your heart wound is not a selfish act. It’s a strategic choice that leads to better connections with your family, friends, and with God. And you may not see it or even believe that it exists, but thousands have walked this healing path before you and they’ve recovered from their devastating losses and have gone on to live fully engaged, purpose-driven, abundant lives of peace, meaning and good relationships. And yes, even great joy.

When you have a clear place to begin and a map to follow, you’re surrounded by compassionate, specialized support, you intentionally take small, consistent action steps, you will move forward from where you are now and you’ll get to where you truly long to be on your healing path.

I invite you to join me, and my daughter Jessie, for Second Wind.

It’s a safe place where the best in you can emerge. You’ll be immersed in God’s compassionate wisdom and experience peace on your way through grief.

Click the button below and step out of fear and into care today.

We look forward to joining you on the healing path.