Holidays, anniversaries, their birthday — special days like these are fraught with invisible grief when you’ve lost your child.

As others celebrate, you might feel disconnected, even surreal, wondering why they don’t seem to care or notice that your child is missing. And on your child’s birthday, the silence echoes.  Many people forget the day; others are too worried about upsetting you to mention it.  Meanwhile, you feel lonely and detached, wondering why on earth you’re the only one devastated by this day. I can empathize because I felt this way after the loss of my baby, David — and then again, after our sixteen-year-old son died. There was no way to prepare for Nathan’s sudden departure from us.

Tomorrow is Nathan’s 10th birthday in Heaven.

Once upon a time, I would have been flooded with overwhelming lonely sadness and regret as the day approached. A relentless dark cloud tailed me day in and day out. But things are different now.  I can honestly say that I look forward to Nathan’s birthday. It’s a time for me to remember Nathan as the happy, enthusiastic,  rambunctious son I deeply loved, unclouded by buried unresolved grief. Nathan’s birthday — along with holidays and other special days that he is sorely missed — gives me a chance to honor his life, appreciate the lessons he taught me, and keep his memory alive. I couldn’t do this very well before I walked the path of healing. Now, I’m able to celebrate Nathan’s birthday with joyful stories and laughter.  That doesn’t mean the day isn’t peppered with tears and longings for his presence.  It simply means that remembering and honoring Nathan is dominated with peace and love rather than pain. Today, I’m thinking about how I might honor Nathan on his birthday. September 7th, the day he entered our family and began leaving his mark for good. Check back tomorrow to discover what I come up with. To stay connected with me and gain access to more healing resources and compassionate guidance, feel welcome to contact me here. Also check out my social media posts for more uplifting posts, upcoming events, and encouraging images- I am active and involved on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest.