Is it better to distract her with a nice gift or a special outing that helps keep her mind off her sadness? Or to mention her loss and risk triggering her grief? What do you say to a mom on Mother’s Day when they have lost a baby or child?
During the last thirty years that I’ve been a therapist, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard these questions. Caring people, like you, genuinely want to know the best thing to say to their family members who are hurting.
It’s difficult to know what to say on Mother’s Day to a mom who has lost her baby or child. It doesn’t matter if it is a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a grandparent or a good friend. Everyone wants to know what to say to support the mother. To honor their loss without fumbling over words and saying something that creates more pain.
When I talk to patients and parents who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, loss of a baby or child, they all tell me that they can sense that feeling of awkwardness. When the people around them want to say something, but don’t know what to say. Those awkward moments are uncomfortable for everyone.
That’s why my daughter, Jessie Vredevelt Schultz, and I decided to create a series of seven gift videos to help open conversations of hope and healing.
Jessie experienced the loss of two babies to miscarriage in the last year. She brings a unique perspective to the conversation as many forget that expectant mothers left with empty arms, deeply grieve over babies that don’t come to term.
Other than perhaps the anniversary of her baby or child’s passing, there is no day of the year that a Mom is more keenly aware of her losses and great sadness. It can be a time of reflection, love, and remembrance. But it is also a time of profound grief and the need for loving support.
While a Mom who has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, loss of a baby or child appreciates remembrance and support from friends and family, one of the most common occurrences on Mother’s Day is the worst one … in an effort to avoid blunders people say nothing at all.
The video series covers seven unique conversations. It explains how a variety of family members, friends, and community leaders can communicate to Moms on Mother’s Day. Each video also includes sample messages that may be written in a card or simply said to the Mother who is missing their baby or child.
These videos are designed to share compassionate, caring, personal messages of remembrance and support on Mom’s favorite day. Our hope is that anyone can use the tips we cover to open heartfelt conversations that promote healing and grief relief.
Our hope is that people will share these resources. That they will help pave the way for meaningful conversations that bring hope and healing to Moms.
The 7 videos are free to watch and share.
Downloadable Tip Sheets and Gift Printables are included. They contain conversation starters and sample phrases for writing the perfect personalized message in a card or note.
In Video #1 of this Mother’s Day Series, Jessie and I cover important tips about the Do’s and Don’ts. What a Mom and Dad can say on Mother’s Day to their daughter or daughter-in-law after the loss of her baby or child.
- Subscribe to Pam’s YouTube channel to get instant notifications when new videos are available.
- Leave a comment below with your ‘just right’ insights.
- Share this post with others who may need a word of encouragement. Simply click the social media sharing links below to pave the way for hope and healing now.
You can find Pam Vredevelt’s premium course Healing Your Empty Arms: A Transformation Experience for Emotional Healing, Personal Growth, and Spiritual Renewal After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Loss of Your Baby or Child at https://pamvredevelt.com/miscarriage-stillbirth-sids-coaching/
Share on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Pinterest. Also feel welcome to contact me here for more compassionate guidance and healing wisdom.
